That’s right, Nintendo released a Pictionary videogame. Manufactured in 1990 by LJN, (one of the leaders in disappointing NES games - I’m lookin’ at you, Back to the Future), Pictionary may initially seem like an ill-advised choice for a videogame. But, I’ve really got to hand it to LJN, they did the best they could with this property. Let’s get right down to it!
If you’ve never played the board game that this thing is based on, I’ll give you a run-down on how it’s done. At least two teams of at least two people crowd around a board and draw cards with the names of various objects, expression, concepts, etc. written on them. Then, one teammate attempts to draw what’s listed on the card while the other teammate(s) attempts to guess what it is. Scratching your head as to how someone could turn this into a videogame? So was I.
Right off the bat, players have the option to play a “Regular Game”, an “Alternative Game”, or “Drawing Practice”. We’ll be taking a look at the regular game option with this review. When playing the regular game, you don’t actually draw. Instead, you move around the board and play one of four mini-games. Each mini-game has an accompanying picture that’s blanked out at the start of each round. Your progress with each mini-game dictates how much of the picture is revealed. After the time is up, you’re left to guess what the picture is by looking at however much of it you’ve revealed (more on that later). So, essentially, the meat of the Pictionary NES game is those four mini-games. I’ve never seen the original instruction manual for this particular NES game, so I’m going to provide my own names and premises for each mini-game.
If you’ve never played the board game that this thing is based on, I’ll give you a run-down on how it’s done. At least two teams of at least two people crowd around a board and draw cards with the names of various objects, expression, concepts, etc. written on them. Then, one teammate attempts to draw what’s listed on the card while the other teammate(s) attempts to guess what it is. Scratching your head as to how someone could turn this into a videogame? So was I.
Right off the bat, players have the option to play a “Regular Game”, an “Alternative Game”, or “Drawing Practice”. We’ll be taking a look at the regular game option with this review. When playing the regular game, you don’t actually draw. Instead, you move around the board and play one of four mini-games. Each mini-game has an accompanying picture that’s blanked out at the start of each round. Your progress with each mini-game dictates how much of the picture is revealed. After the time is up, you’re left to guess what the picture is by looking at however much of it you’ve revealed (more on that later). So, essentially, the meat of the Pictionary NES game is those four mini-games. I’ve never seen the original instruction manual for this particular NES game, so I’m going to provide my own names and premises for each mini-game.
Mini-game 1: Save Those Flying Fatmen!In this game, you’re a pair of firefighters holding a trampoline below a burning building. All of the sudden, hordes of identical fatasses wearing blue pajamas start jumping out of the windows. It’s your job to catch them in your trusty trampoline. But what happens if you miss? Well, those fat blue clones go SPLAT right on the pavement. With each dead fat man, you lose extra time.
Mini-game 2: Galaxy IntrudersThis particular mini-game is a thinly veiled (okay, downright blatant) rip off of Space Invaders. The only real difference is that instead of being a tank at the bottom of the screen shooting at aggressive aliens, you’re a bucket at the top of the screen dumping drops of blood on purple dust balls that shoot boogers at you. With each hit you take, your time is reduced.
Mini-game 3: Spaceman Cliff and the Blueballs AdventureProbably my favorite of all four mini-games, this particular adventure lets you control a spaceman that I’ve decided to name Spaceman Cliff. Spaceman Cliff’s got a problem. He needs to collect these blue spheres that keep popping up all around. And to make matters worse, his efforts are being hampered by two annoying purple balls that keep popping up in the background. Each time you get hit by one of these little guys, you lose some time. Sounds boring, I know. But I’d actually play an entire game based on this premise.
Mini-game 4: Cargo Sal and the Madcap Mississippi Crate CaperThe last mini-game focuses on a working-class fellow whom I’ve dubbed Cargo Sal. Just go to the left of the screen, stack up a bunch of crates, and unload them on the right side of the screen. Sounds easy, right? Wrong. Two green floating balls keep jumping around the screen. Whenever they make contact with your stack of crates, one crate is lost AND your extra time is reduced. The key to this mini-game is not to get greedy. Just take two boxes at a time and you should do fine. That’s right…4 ½ years of graduate school and I’m giving tips on how to win a Nintendo Pictionary game that’s almost twenty years old.
So. You’ve finished a mini-game. You’ve revealed some of the hidden picture. The only thing left to do now is guess what it is, right? Not so fast. Due to the low-quality graphics, LJN had to resort to somewhat “interpretive” renditions when it came to the picture department. There are many cases when you reveal the entire picture and still can’t hazard a guess as to what you’re looking at. In these cases, I like to run down the clock by typing in various dirty words and seeing what kind of profanity will and will not be accepted into the game as a possible answer. It beats the heck out of spending a few seconds of your life staring at a badly drawn picture trying to tell if it’s a frog or a coffee cup (I can do that at art museums).Do well on the mini-games and somehow guess what these pictures are and you’ll make it around the board in no time at all. Though I’ll warn you, the ending doesn’t really fill you with the sense of pride that you might feel you’ve earned.
Is it a great game? God no. Is it a decent way to spend twenty minutes of your life? I guess so. To fairly analyze this game, ask yourself “How bad COULD an NES Pictionary game have been?” Once you imagine that horror, give this particular game another look. I think you’ll find that it’s as good as it could have been. I wouldn’t hold out any hope for a sequel to be released on the Wii, though.
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