Wedge: The Little Pilot That Could!

Whew. It’s been a long time since I’ve done an update. But that’s okay. I doubt anyone but me knows that. Anyway, today I’m going to do a little tribute to my favorite unsung hero of the Star Wars saga. Well, to tell you the truth, he’s not really unsung anymore. Whereas this guy was originally little more than a background character in the Star Wars movies, his popularity has spawned a book series, comics, and multiple action figures of various scales (and quality). Who am I talking about? It’s none other than Wedge Antilles!

Even as a little kid, I was always fascinated with the Rebel pilots. The ships were cool, the dogfights were cool, and I loved all those helmet designs. It’s a tribute to the original trilogy that, when they could have given everyone generic white helmets with Rebel insignias painted on them, George and the boys opted to have each pilot wearing an individualized helmet with all sorts of logos and bragging rights painted all over them. But that’s not what made me love Wedge. In fact, his helmet’s one of the less eye-catching of the Rebel pilots’.

What made me love Wedge was that he gave a certain feeling of believability to the Star Wars saga. Sure, we all loved bigger-than-life heroes like Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Chewbacca. But, right from the start, it’s obvious that these guys represent legendary archetypes. Plus, it’s hard to believe that a farmboy, a scruffy-looking smuggler, his big dog, a bitchy princess, an old man, and a couple of robots could take down the entire Galactic Empire by themselves. They needed help.

And that’s where Wedge comes in. There are TONS of nameless, faceless Rebels in the original trilogy, which is good. But Wedge always struck me as a bit of an “everyman”. He’s not pursuing some prophetic destiny like Luke. He’s not trying to overcome his shady past and bang a hot princess like Han. He’s just a guy…a guy with a cool ship, an orange flight suit, and a job to do.

Plus, he’s the only minor character in the Star Wars saga to appear in and survive all three of the original Star Wars films (take THAT, Billy Dee Williams!). To be fair, Wedge didn’t really get the job done in Episode IV. He hits the Death Star like everyone else, but has to bail out after some damage to his X-Wing. Still, he makes it home in once piece. Episode V gives him a bit more time to shine, with Wedge and his gunner, Jansen, taking down an AT-AT during the battle of Hoth. Then, in Episode VI, Wedge is one of the pilots who gets into the Death Star II and helps blow it up. He even gets to party with Ewoks later on.

It may not seem like much. And, really, it isn’t. But even as a kid, I couldn’t help but notice that this same guy kept popping up over and over. No one really gives him much more than a pat on the back. He never gets to participate in any grandiose award ceremony. He’s just a working Joe in an X-Wing. What’s great about that is that it helps us imagine that Wedge is just one of hundreds of Rebel pilots who regularly risk their lives to rid the galaxy of the Empire. When we see Rebels scurrying around a base, we don’t just look at them as extras in funny hats. We see people…people like Wedge Antilles.

As I’ve said, there’s been tons of Wedge merchandise since the late 90’s. He’s gotten a few action figures (some better than others). He’s featured prominently in the Rogue Squadron books and comics (which ain’t bad reads). Plus, he’s become something of a household name (in geeky households, that is).

I’m not going to review any of the Wedge-related reading materials, as I haven’t really kept up with them over the years. I’m sure there’s someone out there with an encyclopedic knowledge of the Rogue Squadron books and comics who can do that for you. But I’ll highlight some of his action figure releases:

First off, I’ll cover Wedge’s basic 3 ¾” releases. To assist me is a picture from Rebelscum.com (awesome website, by the way):


The first ever 3 ¾” Wedge figure to be released was the one that came with the less-than-awesome Millennium Falcon carrying case. He was really nothing more than a repainted X-Wing pilot Luke (Snowspeeder pilot, actually) with a new head. The earliest release had all sorts of weird paint choices. Dark gray boots, silver cord running from his chest box, white stripes on his arms, and an inaccurate helmet? What gives? Well, Hasbro quickly “corrected” at least two of the paint flaws, giving him a more accurate helmet and ditching the white stripes on his arms. Yeah, we’d finally gotten us a Wedge figure. But it was about as half-assed as could be.

Hasbro managed to get their act together for the second Wedge figure a while later. He came in one of those Cinema Scenes 3-packs (I loved those things) with 2 other Rebel pilots. This time around, Wedge was looking a lot better. The coloration of his clothes made a LOT more sense, and he even had a removable helmet. His body was just another re-use, (this time from Biggs), but who cares? Other than a few guys who requie specific parts, (Jek Porkins’ fat ass stands out), Rebel pilot bodies are all pretty much interchangeable.

As good as that Wedge was, the mail-away Original Trilogy Collection Wedge that came out a few years later was even better. There’s nothing to complain about here. A more detailed body, another removable helmet, and this Wedge even came on his own card (the first time that had ever happened). I think Hasbro could have quit with Wedge figures here and no one would have ever had any complaints. Even me, and I love complaining.

Then, there was a comic 2-pack version of Wedge wearing his dress uniform. I wasn’t really too jazzed about this figure. There’s nothing wrong with it, per se. I just don’t care for the uniform. In fact, I never even picked this one up.

Finally, we Wedge fans recently got the mother load. Packed with his (awesome) X-Wing fighter, a droid, and a couple of ladders, the Target exclusive Wedge was a pricey addition to my collection. But he’s worth it. He’s got a super-articulated body, (again, a reused body), a ball-jointed head, and a helmet with a chinstrap (previous Wedge helmets didn’t feature this detail). I’ve gotta say, though, I’m not really feeling the head sculpt. It makes him look more like a snooty butler than Wedge. This set’s a must-have for Wedge fans, though. It finally gave me an excuse to plunk down the money for that bad ass X-Wing that had previously been released a few times, which is easily the centerpiece of this set.

So, in the 3 ¾” realm, Wedge had finally come full circle. My favorite Rebel pilot had gone from being completely overlooked in the vintage Star Wars line (in favor of such fan-favorites as the Rancor Keeper and the black Bespin Security Guard) to coming in a fancy X-Wing boxed set with all the bells and whistles. There’s even supposed to be a 3 ¾” Wedge released in an upcoming assortment of carded figures. But that’s not all for Wedge figures. He’s been part of the Lego Star Wars line, as well as a few various micro figure incarnations (Action Fleet, etc.). As a bonus, I’m gonna give a little review of some other notable Wedge figures.

One of the better-known Wedge figures is the 12” one that came in a 2-pack with Biggs about 10 years ago. This could have been one of Wedge’s finest hours. Instead, it…wasn’t. He’s got his good points, that’s true. His outfit looks great (except for the poorly designed white flak vest and the odd-looking gloves. Plus, he’s got great articulation and a removable helmet. But that helmet’s one of the main problems. It’s just…well, bad. Hasbro decided to go the extra mile and have the 12” X-Wing pilot helmets feature moveable visors. It might have sounded great in theory, but the execution left a lot to be desired. I could almost overlook the silly slit that it necessitated going down the middle of his helmet. But the visor mechanism made his helmet sit way too high on his head. It made it look like Wedge had just gotten back from the beauty parlor and didn’t want to mess up his new hairdo. Plus, that likeness was just waaay off. This one can definitely be passed up (by the way, the Biggs figure from this set has all the same problems…you can pass on him too).

Moving down in scale, there’s the Galactic Heroes Wedge from a few years back. I don’t normally go in for these cutesy little versions of characters. But, what the hell…it was Wedge. I was actually impressed. He’s got a nicely designed removable helmet, and a lot of detail for his size. If you run across one, go ahead and pick it up. He’s pretty fun to have around.

During the late 1990’s, Applause got into the Star Wars game big-time. The Wedge mini PVC figure was a surprise addition to the line. It’s not really fair to go too much into likeness issues at this scale, but I really think his visage could have been captured a bit better than what we got here. Still, the rest of him is pretty satisfying. He’s dressed in his Snowspeeder pilot uniform, which we don’t get to see much on Wedge figures. Overall, he’s worth a few bucks to diehard Wedge fans.

But Applause Wedges weren’t all lackluster. They also did an AMAZING Wedge figure that stands about 10” tall. This is easily the best likeness of actor Denis Lawson, and Applause just nailed every aspect of this guy. The helmet comes off, and looks great on its own (a visor would have been nice, but I’m not going to nitpick over something like that). If you’re only ever going to get one Wedge Antilles collectible, make sure it’s this one.

So there you have it, a very non-exhaustive review of Wedge’s toy history, as well as my ramblings of why I like him so much. Don’t get me wrong. I love Han and Chewie as much as the next guy. Hell, I’m even a Klaatu fan if you catch me on the right day. But there’s always been something about Wedge. I’m glad to see that he’s finally getting the support he deserves in the Star Wars world.

So, until I get bored again and decide to write another post, I’ll sign off and leave you to wonder where the last few minutes of your life went!

Classic NES Reviews: Pictionary

That’s right, Nintendo released a Pictionary videogame. Manufactured in 1990 by LJN, (one of the leaders in disappointing NES games - I’m lookin’ at you, Back to the Future), Pictionary may initially seem like an ill-advised choice for a videogame. But, I’ve really got to hand it to LJN, they did the best they could with this property. Let’s get right down to it!

If you’ve never played the board game that this thing is based on, I’ll give you a run-down on how it’s done. At least two teams of at least two people crowd around a board and draw cards with the names of various objects, expression, concepts, etc. written on them. Then, one teammate attempts to draw what’s listed on the card while the other teammate(s) attempts to guess what it is. Scratching your head as to how someone could turn this into a videogame? So was I.

Right off the bat, players have the option to play a “Regular Game”, an “Alternative Game”, or “Drawing Practice”. We’ll be taking a look at the regular game option with this review. When playing the regular game, you don’t actually draw. Instead, you move around the board and play one of four mini-games. Each mini-game has an accompanying picture that’s blanked out at the start of each round. Your progress with each mini-game dictates how much of the picture is revealed. After the time is up, you’re left to guess what the picture is by looking at however much of it you’ve revealed (more on that later). So, essentially, the meat of the Pictionary NES game is those four mini-games. I’ve never seen the original instruction manual for this particular NES game, so I’m going to provide my own names and premises for each mini-game.

Mini-game 1: Save Those Flying Fatmen!
In this game, you’re a pair of firefighters holding a trampoline below a burning building. All of the sudden, hordes of identical fatasses wearing blue pajamas start jumping out of the windows. It’s your job to catch them in your trusty trampoline. But what happens if you miss? Well, those fat blue clones go SPLAT right on the pavement. With each dead fat man, you lose extra time.

Mini-game 2: Galaxy Intruders
This particular mini-game is a thinly veiled (okay, downright blatant) rip off of Space Invaders. The only real difference is that instead of being a tank at the bottom of the screen shooting at aggressive aliens, you’re a bucket at the top of the screen dumping drops of blood on purple dust balls that shoot boogers at you. With each hit you take, your time is reduced.

Mini-game 3: Spaceman Cliff and the Blueballs Adventure
Probably my favorite of all four mini-games, this particular adventure lets you control a spaceman that I’ve decided to name Spaceman Cliff. Spaceman Cliff’s got a problem. He needs to collect these blue spheres that keep popping up all around. And to make matters worse, his efforts are being hampered by two annoying purple balls that keep popping up in the background. Each time you get hit by one of these little guys, you lose some time. Sounds boring, I know. But I’d actually play an entire game based on this premise.

Mini-game 4: Cargo Sal and the Madcap Mississippi Crate Caper
The last mini-game focuses on a working-class fellow whom I’ve dubbed Cargo Sal. Just go to the left of the screen, stack up a bunch of crates, and unload them on the right side of the screen. Sounds easy, right? Wrong. Two green floating balls keep jumping around the screen. Whenever they make contact with your stack of crates, one crate is lost AND your extra time is reduced. The key to this mini-game is not to get greedy. Just take two boxes at a time and you should do fine. That’s right…4 ½ years of graduate school and I’m giving tips on how to win a Nintendo Pictionary game that’s almost twenty years old.

So. You’ve finished a mini-game. You’ve revealed some of the hidden picture. The only thing left to do now is guess what it is, right? Not so fast. Due to the low-quality graphics, LJN had to resort to somewhat “interpretive” renditions when it came to the picture department. There are many cases when you reveal the entire picture and still can’t hazard a guess as to what you’re looking at. In these cases, I like to run down the clock by typing in various dirty words and seeing what kind of profanity will and will not be accepted into the game as a possible answer. It beats the heck out of spending a few seconds of your life staring at a badly drawn picture trying to tell if it’s a frog or a coffee cup (I can do that at art museums).

Do well on the mini-games and somehow guess what these pictures are and you’ll make it around the board in no time at all. Though I’ll warn you, the ending doesn’t really fill you with the sense of pride that you might feel you’ve earned.

Is it a great game? God no. Is it a decent way to spend twenty minutes of your life? I guess so. To fairly analyze this game, ask yourself “How bad COULD an NES Pictionary game have been?” Once you imagine that horror, give this particular game another look. I think you’ll find that it’s as good as it could have been. I wouldn’t hold out any hope for a sequel to be released on the Wii, though.

Toy Reviews: Centurions Jake Rockwell

As a child, Jake Rockwell was my favorite Centurion figure. Was it his cool accessory sets? Was it his interesting mustard/dark olive drab color combination? Was it his rugged good looks? No. It was because of something simpler than that. Ol’ Jake was the only Centurion figure that I had. When I was a kid, I was excellent at conning myself into believing that the figures I had were always the best that a particular toyline had to offer. Centurions was no exception. But now that I have a near-complete Centurions collection, I have to admit that Jake still ranks high among his holey-suited brethren.

For those who are unfamiliar with the line, the Centurions was an innovative toy series consisting primarily of three good guys (Jake, Ace McCloud, and Max Ray). Each figure came garbed in a futuristic suit of armor filled with holes. And what went in these holes? Why, weapons, of course! Each Centurion figure came packaged with a set of basic weapons. But the real meat of the line was the separate accessory sets that you could harass your parents into buying. These accessory sets featured larger, more detailed weaponry that could be attached to the figure. To make the figures even more enticing, certain features in the accessory sets could only be activated when the weapons were attached to the figures. Well, that’s not entirely true. But the features were a whole lot cooler when you used the figures as a go-between. For example, turning a gun attached to a figure’s backpack might shoot off a missile from his chest plate. You get the picture.

Anyway, I digress. If you’re reading this, you probably know all about Centurions. As I mentioned, Jake came in a dark olive drab body suit covered in mustard-colored armor. For the sake of brevity, I’m going to refer to these colors as “green” and “yellow” for the rest of the review (you ever tried typing “dark olive drab” and “mustard-colored” over and over?). Jake also sported a nifty yellow and green (ahh, already quicker) helmet with a Centurions logo placed firmly on the front of his noggin. As the “land operations specialist”, Jake came packages with a basic accessory set dubbed “Fireforce”. Fireforce (or, as I call it, “the stuff Jake Rockwell came with”) included: a tan backpack, a 2-piece olive drab shoulder light, a double-barreled olive drab gun, another, more phallic gun with four barrels on the end, and a big honkin’ tan missile launcher with yellow missile (that actually fired).

So is Jake worth picking up these days? Definitely. Due to their somewhat larger size, (Centurions were about as tall as Mego figures), these guys stand out in a toy collection. They may not feature the type of articulation that modern collectors are used to, but Centurions are no slouches when it comes to moving that body (the three heroes could move their heads at two points, and featured additional articulation at the shoulders, elbows, hips, and knees). Centurions also had crisp, eye-catching paint applications. But the real visual treat is the detailed sculpting that went into each one of these guys (Jake included). Just looking over Jake’s armor, you can see all sorts of details. Plus, the modular weapon system is a can’t-miss feature.

Jake had four separate weapon systems available to buy (Hornet, Detonator, Wild Weasel, and Swingshot). With the exception of Swingshot, (which was admittedly kind of lame), all of Jake’s weapon systems were visually interesting and full of play value. If you’re just looking to get into the line, there’s no better place to start than old, reliable Jake Rockwell.

Toy Reviews: 3 3/4" Star Trek Spock

One of my all-time favorite toy lines was Playmates’ 1990’s-era Star Trek line. From the get-go, they provided a wide-array of characters, excellent paint applications, and generally wonderful likenesses. Okay, so they could only sit down “Indian style”, but I was willing to overlook that. Now, fast forward to about 15-years later, Playmates was doing a 3 ¾” line for the new Star Trek reboot movie. Despite my well-documented hatred of anything new, I was actually pretty happy with this movie. And, considering Playmates had years to make improvements in their toymaking procedures, I was expecting some seriously cool action figures to go along with this flick.

Then, the fateful day came when I saw these figures hanging on the shelves. I was…under whelmed. Not seeing the point in plunking down my easily earned money on these less-than-exhilarating figures, I passed. That was, until a few days ago. I was cruising through the local Big Lots, taking in the culture, and I spotted these guys for $3 a pop. I figured $3 was a reasonable price to pay in order to check these figures out, so I thought, “What the hell? I’m gonna buy me a Spock!” And, after taking everyone’s favorite Vulcan out of his package and examining him, I arrived at my conclusion on this line.



Boooooooooo! That’s right, Playmates, Booooo! At a glance, he looks okay. Reasonable likeness, good proportions, very nice paint applications. And, best of all, his right hand wasn’t permanently posed giving the Vulcan salute (he’s got interchangeable hands). Spock features a lot of articulation, but the only articulation that really hits home is the head, shoulders, wrists, and ankles. Spock’s hip articulation is hampered by his shirt (hell, even his waist articulation is hampered). But, worst of all, Spock’s elbows and knees barely move at all. I’m serious, it’s like 30-degrees of what should be a 90-degree point of articulation. He can’t even sit in the VERY CHAIR THAT HE’S PACKAGED WITH! Ugh!

Now, as I’m writing this review, I’m taken by the fact that there are many more good points than bad where this figure is concerned. I haven’t even mentioned the well-done accessories, which include a phaser, belt, (with non-removable communicator), chair, instrument panel, and a stand which doubles as a clip-on Starfleet insignia badge. And, like I said, the likeness, proportions, and paint are well done. But that elbow and knee articulation is unforgivable. I’m sorry. I don’t want to be one of those assholes on the internet that dwells on one issue and ignores a multitude of positive points. But I just can’t get past it. Sorry, Spock. I just can’t recommend you to loose collectors. However, if you prefer to keep your figures in the package, or just don’t care about articulation, I suppose there are worse things you can do than pick this figure up.

Toy Reviews: DCUC Joker

Dang! There’s been a slew of Joker figures over the years. Some have been pretty sharp (Kenner’s Super Powers Joker, as well as the first Joker figure from Kenner’s Dark Knight line come to mind). But this…this is a work of art! When I first saw pictures of this figure surface on the web, I was immediately in love with him. It was as if Neal Adams had started designing toys and this is what he’d come up with. But, imagine my shock and dismay when I discovered he was going to be a Wal-Mart exclusive. I’d played the DCUC Wal-Mart exclusive game before with the infamous wave 5. It’s over a year later and I still never saw any of those damn things in the store. So, I figured I’d be stuck endlessly searching for this treasure and coming up with nothing. But I was wrong! One night, on the way home from work, I stumbled across a familiar green-haired psychopath in the toy aisles. As a matter of fact, I stumbled across two green-haired DCUC figures (the other being Beast Boy, but he’s by no means a psychopath). Anyway, I quickly scooped him up and headed home for some fun with my new Joker toy (and, to a lesser extent, my new Beast Boy toy).

I wasn’t disappointed when I opened this little gem up. I won’t bore you with endless details about the Joker’s articulation. He’s got a lot of articulation…there ya go. The real treat here is the figure’s overall presentation. DCUC skillfully reworked the Gentleman Ghost body into a very, very convincing Joker. He’s got it all – scrawny body, long legs, and a purple tuxedo that would make Prince squeal with girlish delight. And, to top it all off, there’s that fantastic head sculpt with a breathtaking paintjob. The Joker’s loaded with accessories as well: a Joker-themed cane, a set of razor-edged playing cards, a Jokerfish, and, to top it all off, a big green mallet with a Joker face on it. This little homage to the Super Powers Joker did not go unappreciated by yours truly.

There’s literally NO drawbacks to this figure. I hesitate to call a toy perfect, but I think I’m gonna have to go ahead and call this little maniac the perfect Joker toy. No need for any toy companies to make any subsequent Joker figures – it’s all right here, folks. Even if you’re just a mild DCUC/Batman/comic book/smiling fish enthusiast, you owe it to yourself to pick this baby up. He’s easily the toughest to find in the wave, but they’re out there (I’ve seen another one on the pegs since finding this one).

Toy Reviews: Masters of the Universe (Vintage): Dragstor

I can still remember the day that I got Dragstor. My family and I were on some vacation (most likely to Tennessee) and we stopped at Roses, a department store that we didn’t have in my normal neck of the woods. I strolled down the toy aisle with my dad, as was my custom at the time, and was immediately struck by pegs full of new MOTU figures that I hadn’t yet seen (remember, this was long before the internet, where you had information about figures, variants, and case assortments months before the toys hit the shelves)! My young eyes were immediately drawn to Dragstor and, after a bit more begging than I’d care to go into, I was walking out of Roses with the newest addition to the evil Horde!

One look at this guy let you know that he meant business. Covered in pretty intricate armor from head to toe, Dragstor had a motor on his back and, of course, a big wheel imbedded in his stomach. No evil warrior should go into battle without a wheel in his stomach…but more on that later. Dragstor featured a pleasing blue/red/orange paint scheme accented by some blacks and red here and there. And, of course, Dragstor sported those menacing orange eyes. I can still remember thinking that this guy looked pissed off and fully into the idea of running down an old lady in the street. His accessories consisted of the standard Horde crossbow (with amazing “pop out 2 centimeters” action!) and his zip cord. As I’m sure you all know, you just had to raise Dragstor’s arms, lay him on his belly, pull the zip cord, and he’d rocket across the floor.


A note to all of you who have never experienced the joy of utilizing Dragstor’s action feature – it actually works! I know it seems like the kind of thing that’s doomed to failure, but those wizards at Mattel crafted a great-looking figure with a unique, working action feature (and after almost 15 years of progress from this point, Mattel now seems incapable of consistently providing me with DCUC figures who’s bicep joints won’t break when I gently turn their arms…go figure). I must have spent hours sending Dragstor scooting across the floor as a kid. Okay, maybe not hours, but I played with this thing enough to wear down the little pads on his elbows.

Because of his unique action feature, Dragstor didn’t feature the standard construction shared by previous MOTU figures (a characteristic that was becoming increasingly prevalent at this point in the line’s production). You get neck, shoulder, and hip articulation…that’s it (unless you count the wheel as articulation, but why would you?). But I can honestly say that this has never bothered me. Classic MOTU figures weren’t about articulation. They were about badass barbarians and monsters with swords, axes, laser guns, and cool action features. And by that measure, Dragstor holds up perfectly.